For three years I have worked at the same summer job: Wienie World. Contrary to the title, it is not that interesting. Wienie World is situated between the front nine holes and back nine of a local golf course. My weekends begin at 8 am and while some get the luxury of waking up to the smell of coffee, I enjoy a rousing bout of hotdogs encased in sheep intestines! I’d love to be able to tell you that I dance around in a hotdog suit as well, but the owners couldn’t afford me; although it might be better for business. The job isn’t too bad; I get a lot of reading done since customers come in fours and only every 12 minutes. I serve them overpriced hotdogs, stale chips, and flourless pancake-cookies.

The cart boys are useful when a girl has the need to gawk, carry cases of beer or fight off boredom, but aside from them there is no one under the age of 40 on the grounds. In my time spent at the course I have taken note of the customers which range from old to older. Old men are very interesting to watch and I highly recommend it. Their greeting usually consists of “HEY! Johnny!” or “My man! Richie!” but it always follows the same sort of pattern. Also as you may have noticed they always add an “ee” sound to the end of the name. Practically any name can be spruced up in this manner adding the effect of “Buddy!” or “Chummy!”

This species is also perpetually telling jokes. Generally involving a)golf, b)beer c)women d)money or e)all of the above. The men laugh after hearing these jokes, but it is not a genuine laugh, it is more like a I’m-forcing-air-out-of-my-lungs-and-throwing-my-head-back-because-this-is-how-we-interact kind of laugh.

While you may hope so, this form of banter is not reserved for only old men; it is also used on young girls as well. I occasionally hear comments such as: “Whoo! those are some hot buns!” “I’ll have a center cut tube steak,” “I hope my golf game is better than this weather!” None of them are really funny but as a young female on the golf course it is my duty to laugh half heartedly and say “Ok, well you have a good day out there.”

This has only backfired on me once: a man came to the screen and asked for a hotdog and a drink. I came through on the hotdog and forgot about the drink. I should also mention that there is a very boisterous ice machine that the golfers have to yell over so when the man quietly requested a Powerade again I just assumed it was another crappy joke, laughed and said “Yeah, have a good day out there!”